My ex-husband has offered a favorable loan to my son to help purchase a house. My son does well and could afford the current mortgage rate. The only condition is that he can never tell his sister; she does well, too, and also can afford current rates. My ex is not making the same offer to her.
It seems like a no-win situation for him. If she finds out, she will feel betrayed; if he tells her now, there is a risk she will blow up his relationship with his dad. He doesn’t even have to say it that way, or risk blowing anything up. He can sidestep the whole sick power game his dad is playing with the siblings’ loyalties.He can do this by assuring his father that he is grateful for the offer, but saying he won’t accept any arrangement from anyone that involves limitations on what he can say about his own personal business.
If your son takes a stand on the sister issue specifically, then he invites his dad to defend unequal treatment of his kids’ equal needs. It’s not defensible, really, but in a power struggle, right and wrong aren’t the point; the power and the struggle are. That’s why the cleanest approach is for your son to call the bluff on a principle even his dad would be hard-pressed to impeach. And to be ready to walk away.This has been an interesting thought exercise, thanks.