Postal Service Unveils Plan To Pay Debts With New $1 Trillion Stamp

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WASHINGTON—Faced with the prospect of complete financial ruin due to the Covid-19 outbreak, the U.S. Postal Service officially unveiled a plan Tuesday to pay off its debts by issuing a new $1 trillion stamp. “As part of our effort to remain solvent and continue serving the American people, we are proud to introduce this unique, die-cut postage stamp printed on a sheet of solid gold and featuring a custom rendition of the Postal Service logo hand-engraved by famed German artist Gerhard Richter,” said Postmaster General Megan Brennan, predicting the “highly collectible” stamp, which features a VVS diamond-studded border and a watermark made from rare, Renaissance-era Tyrian purple dye, would be of interest to any entity capable of raising the capital to purchase it. “This thing is a philatelist’s dream—frankly, it puts all your Inverted Jenny and Hawaiian Missionary stamps to shame. So get yours while you can! Honestly, we just need to sell one of these things and we’re good. Please help us. This is our last hope.” Brennan added that with its $1 trillion face value, the stamp could be used to send “just about anything you can stick it to,” from a postcard to a shipment of stockpiled ventilators requested by a governor who demonstrates sufficient fealty.

 

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🎉

How do you ship that

wally_polischuk I hope at least its a 'Forever' stamp.

They already paid off their retirement 75 years in advance - nobody else has done that

😜

They should go with the narcissistamp.

Better make it $2 Trillion.

Does it go on your lower back above your butt?

KerJTalit The recipient will still be charged for postage due.

...elonmusk suddenly looks up.

evanpostlandia

Wow, that must be worth a fortune!

It would be worth it if we could slap it over Trump's stupid mouth.

🤣🤣

Mr.Burns trillion dollar bill haha

I wasted mine on a birthday card. I had to get it mailed right away.

'It is enough postage to ship the moon all the way around the Earth, nearly once.'

Suggestion: if you put Mr Trump's picture on it and promise to publish the buyer's name, you might sell ONE. But get the cash up front. 😷😎

. The only entity in the world able to pay for it would be the USA government by voting for more debt and the central bank families which the whole world is indebted to (because they have a monopoly in printing US currency)

That really will be a forever stamp.

It is $25 Trillion stamp to commemorate the virus outbreak... BenFranklin PostMaster Divert WIC

Sorry but satire is dead. It died from self injected bleach.

They could actually do that. The government could mint trillion dollar coins and poof! There goes our national debt. We could pay off the deficit.

TheStalwart

I want to lick that!

The government can buy it w the trillion dollars coin.

keithpille If they put Trump’s face on it, it would actually happen.

Your mail person will be wearing a tux, and chauffeured in a Lincoln Town Car to justify increased expenditures.

Their problems started when they release the President Trump stamp. Sure it’s a $30.00 stamp; but if you lick it, they have to pay you $100,000 to keep quite about it.

Modern Monetary Theory in action. Weimar Republic be damned.

Immediately after someone buys it the goalposts will be moved.

Some part of me thinks this is a genius idea because somebody would find a way to buy it.

I hope it is a 'Forever' stamp?

Finally! A stamp big enough for my 20ft wide envelopes

Sounds like something paulkrugman would suggest. ThomasEWoods BobMurphyEcon

It's too big

PradyumnaSomani Pradyumn2Pathak

Chump change

I'll take a dozen

I always use 2 stamps just to make sure I have enough postage.

With Donald‘s mug on it

Is it a ‘Forever’ stamp?

.JDCMedlock A smaller version of this is unironically a good idea.

Already a rare collectors item as deficit far exceeds stamp value. Limit one per non existent multi-trillionaire. Shipping to home cost to be determined. Only valid where digital currencies do not exist.

So how heavy would the letter need to be to require a trillion dollar stamp? Serious question.

Only gotta sell one .

This but unironically

I would buy it if I could use it to send Trump back in time, to 1863.

T. Herman Zweibel will be hearing from my ravenous lawyers with his bankruptcy sure to follow.

I was hoping to send a letter to my sun. Would this stamp get it there?

does putting this on an envelope make it send light speed, or ludicrous speed?

Is it that expensive because it's reusable?

Is it a forever stamp though?

Two are required if the envelope is too heavy.

What letter would you put this on?!

GF_Beauregard

143 million taxpayers in the USA. 80% to get stimulus check = 114 mil. If everyone bought $11 in stamps we'd bail out the USPS to the tune of $1.25 billion dollars. SaveTheUSPS

I liked this joke better when jbuhl35 made it.

Sequel: The government buys the stamp, smelts it into golden ingots and then sues the USPS because the stamp was not worth $1T in gold.

Pog

Genius!

Missing the supreme logo

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