Fox News Producer Tasked With Calculating How Long It Would Take To Get Kid Rock A Doctorate

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NEW YORK—In an effort to bolster the booked guest’s professional credibility, Fox News executives reportedly tasked producer Lydia Reese Friday with calculating how long it would take to get Kid Rock a doctorate. “Hmm, it might be tough since he didn’t go to undergrad, but maybe we can swing some kind of honorary degree,” said Reese, pacing the floor of her office as she directed her assistant to research accelerated online degree programs and made a note to check and see if she had any contacts at Liberty University who could be useful. “What about a Doctor of Music? Can he do that fast? His albums should be able to earn him some kind of credit. Or maybe he could be a professor and teach a pop culture course on Americana. Just so we can stick ‘Dr. Kid Rock’ on the chyron. “At press time, Reese was sending a message to the legal department to find out what would happen if the network just started calling him doctor.

 

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Cool_Stuff_Guy 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I always knew he was destined for bigger things 💫

Then we can call him Doc Rock instead of Kid, which is dumb.

The universe would die out by then

I really can’t tell anymore. Every headline is now The Onion.

with his name on it?

She’ll lose her job

Only one man deserves to be Doc Rock.

He's almost 50. Stop calling him 'kid'.

dennisbhooper 😅😅😅

What the hell would Fox 'News' know about doctorates. Besides the trmp university ones I mean.

Doctorate in what

I say they should forget about the PhD and get him an army rank instead.... Sgt. Rock is going to help me Make the girl mine Keep her stood in line And make the girl mine, wave the victory sign

Let us know how it plays out. I’m betting it would take a couple of really good educators a LONG time......!

As long as it takes to cut that check.

If you allowed him team up with the Michigan stay-at-home protesters, never.

Does Fox actually have this bozo on their shows? For that matter, does anyone with any college degree even watch Fox?

*honorary

You can't divide by zero.

🧗

😘🤣🤣💃

Trump University is closed so like infinity + 1?

The Onion stopped hitting the mark when real life became more surreal than anything T. Herman Zweibel could approve.

How long does it take to get one from trump university? By the way, who’s Kid Rock?

kid rock is still alive

Nobody, I mean nobody has that amount of time.

Call CERN

Dr. Rock

have him donate a wing to harvard.. those mofo's will give anyone a degree

weaksauce, they literally give out honorary doctorates for large donations

Nobody gonna live that long.

getting the kid a rock would be much easier than obtaining a doctorate, imo

From Trump U? Instantly, or forever, depending on the scam that month

Who?

'That's Dr.Rock, thank you very much'

If you pay more than the going rate you should be able to get him any doctorate he wants. There are tons of schools full of them.

Just need $$ to get an honorary degree.

ArrestThePOTUS

Well given that he answered the question What is: pi r squared? With, 'nah that's round. '

That's what chyrons are for.

WithCheryl

It would take $59,999 at Trump University.

royalboom

Demonpuppy They don't have that kind of time.

hahahahaha

MY NAME IS DOCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC DOC ROCK!!!!

If you put your picture away all summer long you can bawitadaba into a cowboy. Only God knows why this American bad-ass got so cocky, maybe hell get a better education in a redneck paradise. More likely yo-da-lin in the valley with balls in your mouth!

LOL

BA stands for BadAss.

Is she *really* blonde enough to have a serious role at that network, though? I mean, they made a film about it and suchlike

If he applies to the same 'university' as Kent Hovind, about twenty minutes.

Kid Rock, PhD.

His father is a doctor who pressured him to carry on tradition. He slowly examines my hairless body while telling a sad story he has. His story. What his true passion was. DR. Rock looks at me through a filter of tears he says slowly, softly. “ I wanna be a cowboy baby”

A “Roctorate”

I thought he already had one from Trump University.

He would rather be a cowboy and smell a pig from a mile away.

Kid Rock the ultimate oxymoron, pun intended.

If that's a photo of a Fox News producer, I totally take back everything I've said about them. Best news network ever, I say!! 😜

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