and surrogacy, but Will had spent part of his childhood in children’s homes and foster care himself, and the impulse to pay it forward outweighed any need for a biological connection.
“Trying for years, as prospective parents, and feeling like we’ve failed, what we found is that there is a whole world, a huge community out there that is already made up of adoptive families and foster families,” Heather says. “It was like: you’re not the first couple that will go through this, and you won’t be the last. I guess it’s a sense of belonging that we’re starting to find.”
Prospective adopters are enamoured with visions of mundane, unremarkable familial moments that others often take for granted. Coming home mud-slick and covered in brambles from running around the woods with the dog. Tracing two, three sets of footprints on yellow beaches, and hauling back fervent kids who wade a little too deep into the sea. Establishing private traditions of going swimming first thing on Sunday mornings, orlate into the night.
But as hopeful as Olivia, Heather and Will are for their future families, they are also painstakingly prepared and trained for the high possibility of their prospective children having significant childhood trauma. Brown believes the adoption system needs to recognise what modern adoption is – a far cry from the history of healthy, unscathed newborns relinquished to adoring guardians.