TULSA, OK—Saying that the admission represented a momentous new step in their relationship, advertising salesman Vince Fergus, 26, confirmed Wednesday that his “kinky” girlfriend had expressed interest in experiencing sexual pleasure later tonight. “I mean, I guess I’m game for whatever, but I just never thought of Jessie as the type of girl who would be into that sort of thing.
She’s always seemed so normal and straight-laced,” said Fergus, who confessed he’d never experimented with providing sexual pleasure for any of his previous girlfriends, but insisted he was “down to experiment” and would be willing to broaden his physical horizons with his current partner as long as it was done carefully and with respect. “Honestly? I don’t know where she even found out about this stuff. She must have read something about it online.
He won’t be walking straight for a week…
I see there's a new drug coming out soon, Vladagra, you take it, & report the results.
I will see you. At Fondue date night.
Oh that's her foot
I'm going to assume that will need to involve having sex with someone other than her boyfriend. Does he at least get to sit in the corner and watch? He might pick up a couple of much needed pointers.
Gasp
The hell is going on with that shirt
If I were Vince, I'd tell Jessie to wait until we're married ;)
the girlfriend sounds like a bad influence
Guess that means solo, sorry Brad.
Decent, Wholesome Area Boyfriend Sternly Reminds Kinky Girlfriend That Such Things Are Dangerous
She even has a perverted sex dungeon that she calls 'the bedroom'. That is some dark fucked up stuff.
I’m the kinky girlfriend
😂
Let the Soaking begin. It’S nOt ReAL SeX oOoOoOOOOoooooh yeah, BaBy…don’t…don’t move it like that! *soaks magic underwear *
Horrible.
The neck on his t-shirt is distracting.
Ben Shapiro shitting his pants right now.
Mormons! 🙄
The Onion After Dark
I thought her foot was a wiener :(
Harlot
What’s next out of her mouth to me? “I’m real”?
Sexual Pleasure, eh? Good luck with that. Just be careful where you do it though. There are still some states out there where that kind of thing is illegal.
My number is 800-GET- OFFF
Grandma will be watching from heaven, you hussy.
whoa, that's too freaky, and outside of my comfort zone
It's her polite way of saying she'd like to try another partner.
way too far on her part. she should stay in her lane
It’s all I ask 🤣🤣🤣
Foreplay in Oklahoma? That is a crime punishable by life in prison there!
How selfish.
😘😘nice couples
Leftist degeneracy is destroying the west!
eww
sometimes these so sad
hot
Weird
Four Play? What? She wants to go golfing?
this makes me want to cry for more than one reason.
😱 scandalous
Sounds like my gramdma.
Premarital sex 🤢
Must be a slow news day.
Did she go to the pet store again?
Even better than sectional pleasure
can i offer my helping hand or two maybe?
Like with a partner? Gross!
Whoa, why is this obscenity in my timeline.
I wouldn’t experiment with foreplay in OK! I heard they made it a felony this year!
What would you do?
Or what I call a standard Tuesday night.
well, if the guy isnt a real man where else should she insert the foot?
Onion like to make people jealous also try not to be banned.
Her children must feel ashamed.
Well, first time for everything.
You little whore! Look, if you think you can seduce me by taking your clothes off, you're absolutely mistaken! I am immune to your feminine wiles! I am a man of high moral standards! Oh look, boobies! Well, maybe this one time!
I want a percentage of how many people had to zoom in on her foot
In age of alternate facts and science denying, man astonished that girlfriend won't just take his word that she's already getting the most pleasure and the best pleasure.
good for her ;-; I salute this stock photo couple—-go forth and attempt kinky sex
These girls are expecting too much of us these days
markwoman
So she's going solo?
I remember when really put out some great stuff
Avoid your significant other and isolate if he tested positive for COVID 19. Which can be two weeks of no relations if you are in a heterosexual monogamous relationship like I am. Spreading diseases is bad. Everyone should disease test prior long term relationships. It's respect.
I am here for you sweetie
Loud and clear Kinky Girlfriend, loud and clear. Maybe next time we don't need to use the onion. NEXT time.
keep bragging to a minumun
With her foot
Related: Long-Time Couple Reaches Soulmate Level After Losing Interest In Sex Forever
Why is that 'kinky?'
Don't do anything outside marriage, king. Don't get roped into that mess
it always baffles me how women still want to have straight sex when 99% of the time the man just never knows how/cares enough to make them cum
Sigh, how long is this going to take?
lol
Not wife yet. Good for her.
He shouldn't go along with this. It sets a bad precedent.
That foot looks weird 🤔
are shrug shirts for men now 'in?'