Aug. 24, 2022, 11:00 AM UTCIt’s a breakup line worse than just being ghosted, and brown girls everywhere know the feeling.In the newest season of Netflix’s “Never Have I Ever,” it’s uttered by main character Devi Vishwakumar’s first Indian American boyfriend, the hot son of her mom’s new friend. Hearing those words signaled the end of her relationship — and she seals the deal by throwing an iced coffee in his face.
It takes the form of private school student Nirdesh , or Des, introduced to Devi when her mom forces her to bring him to a party with her friends. The two fall for each other while trying to make Devi’s ex-boyfriend jealous. It’s a subtle nod to a commonality in South Asian households, Singh said. Mothers are often conditioned to favor their sons, putting them on pedestals and treating them like they can do no wrong. But the cultural phenomenon of young women being forced to withstand that dynamic in dating, often reduced to the “evil mother in law” trope, has roots that run deep on the subcontinent, she said.
“I don’t think that either of these moments contradicts each other,” Singh said. “Because she’s showing care in both instances…With her son, she wants him to be a successful human being. She wants him to be with a girl who doesn’t have problems, who will help him like his mother does. And that’s where I think she’s being very short-sighted.”
“You have both these strong mothers that are raising their kids on their own,” Singh said. “And yet, somehow, the young man’s choices on who he dates are attributed to the mother’s interference. When he says, ‘You’re not worth it for me to go up against my mother,’ it’s a devastating comment for a young girl to hear. Imagine how many people have probably experienced the same.”“the most accurate south asian rep in never have I ever was des being a mommas boy,” one person tweeted.