SAN ANTONIO—Saying a series of fiscally irresponsible decisions had led to the local 10-year-old’s present insolvency, top financial analysts stated Tuesday that debt-ridden fourth-grader Daniel Brown should have stopped himself from recklessly investing in so many school lunches.
“Instead of asking whether it was wise to put all of his money into solid foods, he just kept taking a tray of spaghetti or chicken tenders almost every single day,” said economist Brenda Maronnes, observing that there are children like Brown all over America who lack the financial self-discipline required to forgo a hot meal and, as a result, spend the rest of their student years buried deep in school lunch debt.
American kids have accrued $19 million in school lunch debt just half way into the school year and participating in the school lunch program is down 23%. Our children are going hungry at school and we are spending our political energy on gas stoves. This is the worst timeline.
lil bro over-levered his piggy bank🥴
Haven't they heard of intermittent fasting? Noobs
The education system really did these kids a disservice when they replaced the school workhouse with playground equipment.
When I was his age I could afford a 5 course Michelin star lunch and a gourmet juice box. He needs to give up Netflix and work harder
Some of these chubby kids could stand to save a few Pennie’s at lunchtime.
Should've trusted the blockchain, little bro.
I just love how these 'conservative' school districts are threatening parents with C.P.S. who owe money to the gd school for shitty cafeteria food.
I had to pay for my own school lunch so why should he get it for free?
Pay-day loan companies see exciting new opportunity.
You're supposed to be satire. Stop it.
Women and booze always a better option.
Let them eat tater tots.
Maybe skip the avocado toast