that so many people stay in abusive relationships. Unfortunately, it makes a sick kind of sense. When an abuser takes over your money, they control your ability to leave them.So please, don't blame yourself for your ex's abuse of your finances. Relationship abuse is all about power and control, and his actions with your money are part of a larger and very harmful pattern.
As for the folks who ask why you"let this happen," that's victim-blaming, and it's extremely unhelpful. It can be really hard for people who have never experienced abuse or manipulation to understand what it's like. It's really scary for them to think about, because it means that they could be vulnerable too. And unfortunately, blaming the victim is a strategy that helps them keep this fear at bay. It's understandable, but it's not okay.