subreddit — a place where people ask the internet if they're the ones in the wrong — wondering if she's being a jerk for refusing to change her last name back after her divorce. Let's dive right in, shall we?"My ex-husband and I broke up two years ago after 26 years of marriage. We have four children together."OP continued,"Due to the stupidity of the time and social pressure, I added my husband's last name to my name.
"If having his ex share a last name with him bothers him that much, then maybe he should take his fiancé's name after they marry.""Absolutely. I hope he takes his new husband’s name when he gets married so he can see what a pain it is to change it.""In part this speaks to male privilege. We’re expected to go through the rigmarole of changing our name and are then expected to change it back, but it’s actually a massive pain in the ass.
"Plus, there are kids, adult or not. Right now she has the same last name of at least one of them. Changing it would make that stop being the case. That was what impacted my mom after the divorce. She says changing it felt like it would be 'rejecting the kids.'""It’s customary that men demand women take on their last name and that the children also get the man’s last name.
"When I divorced my abusive ex-husband, he sent me a text saying I needed to give up his last name because I 'didn’t deserve it.' He didn’t go by his last name, but I, as a teacher, went by my last name more than I did my first name, and I liked his last name. After I talked it over with my therapist, she said, 'Keep it. He gave it to you as a gift, and you can’t take back gifts. You earned it. It’s your name to do with as you will.
He was the cause of the divorce. If it’s such a big deal, then he can pay for it. However, I do think there are times that changing a surname should be able to be legally enforced. My dad’s first wife that tried to kill him has our last name over three decades later. 🙃
It’s HER name. Leave her alone. Keep the name girl. Keep anything you want. You owe him NOTHING.
Such a pain in the ass.. but girl, get rid of that shit!!😝🙅🏼♀️