Dear Quentin, My fiancé and I have lived together for a couple of years, and I’ve covered most of the finances due to his financial hardships and child support. I sold that home and we moved into another. Prior to moving, I was told that we would split the mortgage.
We’ve had conversations about stepping up more financially and he gets frustrated. Most of the time, I’m living paycheck to paycheck and I feel drained. What’s the best way to communicate that we need to establish more healthy financial habits?What do you suggest?Dear Fiancée, Make your financial conversations a regular part of your life.
In your case, one shared account for household expenses will help both of you keep track of your finances, and keep you both accountable. Approach it as a shared goal rather than one person not pulling their weight. However, if your partner does feel secure that you will make up the shortfall, it will be more difficult to do if you have a household ledger showing he is, for example, spending too much money on car payments and socializing.
Ultimately, you want to pay off your house, have a little fun along the way, and earn enough to afford to invest money in a 401 and/or an IRA. We all have big, long-term goals but those short-term dreams also keep us going. If your fiancé gets frustrated it may be because he is under pressure and feeling fearful about his ability to contribute.
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