How the anniversary of leaving a birth canal became the cause for yearly celebrations might be a mystery, but we can all agree that the addition of cake was a top tier idea.
For 27-year-old Patricia*, her friends have ramped up the celebrations in the last three years, meaning she spends roughly £200 or more per occasion. “The most extravagant was going to Birmingham for my friend’s ‘Dirty Thirty’ and I spent around £380 to £400 for! Spending that sort of cash makes me feel anxious and I’m constantly worried about money but I really value my friendships so I feel indebted to go ahead and spend it,” she tells Refinery29.
Of course, discussing finances with friends is easier said than done and is a historically awkward topic for people to navigate. For many, saying no to big events makes them feel like a bad friend — something 32-year-old Niamh, who preferred we didn't share her last name, is currently feeling in the face of a £500 birthday trip invite.
Being able to set boundaries around finances with friends seems great in practice, but it’s often shame that drives the uncomfortableness around not being able to to spend. “If you’re bringing up a budgeting question, chances are other people are feeling it too.